Across the Green Plains

Pursuing Jeremiah 9: 24

2005-06-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

I want to fall in love with you madly
I want to smile at the thought of being with you
I want to swoon when we'll spend time just the two of us
I want to be excited at a task we'll do together
I want to wake up in the day
with you face greeting me in my head
as the sun peeks through my windows
I want to jump right out of bed
excited to encounter you
can't wait to see your face
I want to be crazily in love with you
I want to be always at your side
I want to desire so much to hear your lovely voice
and listen to your thoughts
may they be delightful or grieving
may they be inspiring or despising
I want to fall in love with you
I want to know who you really are
I want to know the depth of your love
I want to encounter your magnificense
I want to worship you
I want to be obsessed with adoration of you
I want to shout praises at your works
I want to grieve at your grievances
I want you.
I want to want only you.

Ultimatum to the Jaded

2005-05-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

It's fascinating how you partook in my growth all this time. I learned so much from you, inspired me, made me feel special at times. But what I mean to you, I'm coming to think, may not be my business after all.

I've come to really love you. And I want to keep that. It's a beautiful thing. Your shyness. Your timidity. Your deceiving smile. Your seeming vulnerability. Your real vulnerability. Your sadness. Your superficial joy. Your affection you rarely show. Your profoundness. Your despair. Your loneliness. Your coldness. Your hazy secret fire. Your colorful imagination. Your hidden love. Your quiet resolute. Your search. And what you could wonderfully be.

I'm so so glad we're friends. I'll keep praying for your life. I will see you around.

I wish to see you in eternity, so bright and so wonderful. Your eyes shining in holy memory. While the seed of my absolute ideals, full grown and immortally actualized, embrace you in exploding joy and praise.

Until then I must run. I must flee my own despair. I must break these walls of apathy. I must be on my way. My true love awaits in urgency. The world he'll show me must not delay. There is so much I must yet see. There is so much I must know. So much is happening and so much is yet to come. So much life. So much glory. So much grace. It's flooding the earth. It will overflow.

I must touch it. I must grasp it. It must pass right through me. It must fill my being. It's only there I'll see the face of my true love. It's the only hope I ever have. So I must go.

I hope to see you there.

random...

2005-04-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

why do you wake up in the morning?
why do you do what you do right now?
why can't I just go ahead and call the guy I'm dying to call right now?
why can't I just come up and say to him, I adore you, be blessed!
why is someone willing to pay my fare so I'll go to his graduation?
why does it seems fine to say yes, when later I'll have to say is sorry... I'm praying for somebody else?
why can't I be amidala so if I fell for anakin, it won't be a surprise?
why didn't anyone tell me that college has little effect on the real world?
why do you have to move first to know where to go instead of the other way around?
why is spontaneous get together much more fun than a planned one?
and why won't it go as planned???
why can't the story end then and there?
why does it have to go on?
why does one have to go through life?
why is growing harder and dying easier?
and why can't you chose neither?
why is the sunset beautiful?
and still more beautiful if you're sharing it with someone else?
and still beautiful if you're not sharing it with somebody anymore?
and still beautiful even if you're sad that you're not sharing it with somebody anymore?
and still beautiful if that sadness hurts because...?
hay...

Trying it out...

2005-04-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

This seems weird... Journal online... but it seems that some people I know have this as apart of the regular routine already. It could be fun. After all I'm almost using my friendster account as a journal na rin. Pero idiot pa ako sa mga URLs and stuff like that kaya mangangapa pa ako dito. Thanks to Po for the invite:)

The Kingdom

2005-04-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm watching my kingdom crumble and fall
You're building your kingdom over all
I'm cursing my wisdom while the angels I call
To take me away from here